A. The Church should accept Christ As He Is --- not try to Create a god of their own desires.

1. The Husband is the Image of God and represents Christ in his home.

2. The Wife represents the Church in her relationship to Christ.

3. For the wife to try to Change Her Husband is the same type of Sin as if the Church tried to Change Christ.

B. Malachi 3:6, "For I [am] the LORD, I change not;"

However, your Husband is Not God, he can change --- But it will the Lord who changes him, not you.

A. Romans 5:8, "But God commendeth his love toward us, in that, while we were yet sinners, Christ died for us."

B. God loves and accepts you Un-Conditionally.

C. You are Not On Probation with God --- neither should your husband be with you.

1. Remember, your Husband is the Image and Glory of God.

2. You, the Wife, respresent the Church in its relationship to Christ.

3. To make your love for you husband conditional --- is As Wrong as the church making her love for Christ conditional ...

A. You can Stifle your husband's love with your Possessiveness.

B. True love is Letting Go.

If you love something --- let it go.

If it comes back --- it was always yours.

If it doesn't --- it never was.

C. When you accept your husband the way he is --- you will give him the Freedom To Be the man he wants to be --- and that God wants him to be.

D. A man Needs un-conditional love, freedom, acceptance, respect, and adoration, In Order To Not be Squelched.

1. God needs our Total Acceptance in order for us not to Quench The Holy Spirit.

2. John was known as the disciple The Lord Loved.

3. Some people Won't Allow God to love them.

4. Some wives Won't Allow Their Husband to love them.

E. Total acceptance Frees Your Husband To Love and cherish you as God meant for him to.

God Is More Interested in loving you Than You Are in being loved.

A. I Corinthians 13:4-7, "Charity suffereth long, [and] is kind; charity envieth not; charity vaunteth not itself, is not puffed up, Doth not behave itself unseemly, seeketh not her own, is not easily provoked, thinketh no evil; Rejoiceth not in iniquity, but rejoiceth in the truth; Beareth all things, believeth all things, hopeth all things, endureth all things."

1. Do you truly Love God at All Times or just when He meets Your Expectations.

2. When your husband Fails To Live Up To Your Expectations, do you still love him --- or are you Hurt, Irritated, and Disappointed.

B. The basis of your Discontentment may lie in Your Expectations of your husband --- and his Failure to meet your goals.

1. When a wife tries to Correct or Change her husband, her efforts usually only puts a Strain on their relationship.

2. You are Telling Him that you do Not Like or Respect him as he is --- You Intend To change him into What You Want --- which is something he is not.

3. Instead of Drawing Him To You --- you are Driving Him Away.

(( I'll tell you Why in just a moment ))

4. Love your husband for What He Is --- not for what you think you can Change Him Into.

5. Only a Very Selfish and Self-Centered Love tries to change someone else --- into someone who will make You happy --- and meet Your needs.

C. Many wives are virtual prisoners of their own Pre-Conceived Ideas of what their husbands Should Be and how he Should Act.

1. You should Stop Setting Goals and Quit Expecting him to be who he is not.

2. Give Your Expectations To God.

D. If you are disappointed in your husband --- you may be trying to Make Him Meet the Needs of Your Life that Only Christ Can Meet.

1. True, he is the "Image of God' --- but he is not God.

2. Christ should have a special place in your life.

A. Your Well-Meaning efforts Will communicate to him, "I don't love you As You Are --- I want you to be different --- for My sake.

1. A man wants (Needs) his wife to be Proud, not Ashamed of him.

2. When she is not, he becomes Discouraged.

B. Man cannot live a healthy, satisfying life when he is Constantly On Trial.

1. The Masculine abilities God has given him to cope with life are Crushed instead of Liberated.

2. Your Intentions may be Sincere but they can lead to Disaster.

C. Proverbs 16:25, "There is a way that seemeth right unto a man, but the end thereof [are] the ways of death."

D. God did not give You the job of Convicting Your Husband of sin or error.

1. That is the work of the Holy Spirit. (John 16:8-11)

2. When you take on that job --- you only Get In God's Way and Slow Down His Work.

E. Neither are you to be your husband's Mother, Correcting and Training him.

1. Having good intentions is not enough.

2. You must act upon the Principles set forth in God's Word.

A. Illustration: --- One day as they were driving along, a man tried to talk to his wife about one of his business transactions. His wife began to respond in her usual way with, "I would have done so and so" and "why didn't you handle it this way?"

Her husband suddenly stopped talking. When she finally got him to tell her what was wrong, he said, "You never approve or agree with anything I do. I shouldn't have tried to share this with you."

His wife had not realized that her unasked-for-advice was actually Criticism of him. She honestly had not intended to put him down. Sadly, she realized that her Advice or Veiled Criticism told her husband that she did Not Approve or Accept him as he was.

1. Giving unasked-for-advice is just another way of Attempting To Change your husband.

2. When you criticize your husband, you are assuming an "I'm better than you are, 'attitude'."

3. You may win a few battles, but you will Lose The War.

B. When Your Husband tells you something he has said or done --- Don't criticize --- point out where he was wrong --- or tell him what he should have done.

1. If you do, he may decide that it is Less Painful to Keep His Thoughts To Himself and Stop Confiding In You.

2. Only when he is Sure of your Total Acceptance will he Confide In You.

3. He must know that he can Trust you Not to Ridicule or Belittle him.

A. In doing so, you are shouting Loud and Clear, "I am Not Pleased with you as you are" --- "I wish I had married someone else."

1. Manipulation won't encourage your husband to love you.

2. When you do not accept your husband as he is --- he may Rebel --- prefer to Be Alone rather than to be Constantly Put Down --- Loneliness is better than strife.

3. Proverbs 25:24, "[It is] better to dwell in the corner of the housetop, than with a brawling woman and in a wide house." --- 21:19, "[It is] better to dwell in the wilderness, than with a contentious and an angry woman."

B. Your husband may be struggling to maintain his freedom to become the man God meant him to be.

1. You may Not feel that Your Actions classify you as:

Disagreeable --- Quarrelsome --- Scolding,

though your husband's reactions say Otherwise.

2. Ask God to show you how you may Un-Knowingly be Contributing to his bad temper.

Philippians 4:4-8, "Rejoice in the Lord alway: [and] again I say, Rejoice. Let your moderation be known unto all men. The Lord [is] at hand. Be careful for nothing; but in every thing by prayer and supplication with thanksgiving let your requests be made known unto God. And the peace of God, which passeth all understanding, shall keep your hearts and minds through Christ Jesus. Finally, brethren, whatsoever things are true, whatsoever things [are] honest, whatsoever things [are] just, whatsoever things [are] pure, whatsoever things [are] lovely, whatsoever things [are] of good report; if [there be] any virtue, and if [there be] any praise, THINK ON THESE THINGS."

A. Commit all of your husband's problems to God and trust Him to work them out.

B. Resist the impulse to Return To The Problem because you've "thought of something else that might work."

C. Trust God for the Solution.

1. If you don't, you're saying in effect, "God, you are Not Able to handle my problem, I'll take care of it myself."

2. God will Not Force His solutions on you.

3. Since God sees things from a Different Viewpoint and knows what's Best For You, don't limit Him by telling Him When and How to answer your prayer.

D. Concentrate on your husband's Positive Traits and his weaknesses will Diminish.

E. Learn to be Grateful and God will Give You More to be grateful for.

F. Negative traits are merely Distorted Positive traits:

1. Stubbornness --- Perseverance

2. Cowardice --- Gentleness

3. Tactlessness --- Frankness --- honesty

4. Slow --- Cautious, Attentive to details

5. Careless --- Easy going, Lenient

6. Fussy --- Careful, Likes to do things right

7. Can't say "no" --- Peace Loving, Gentle, Compassion

8. Talks too much --- Thorough, Expressive

9. Too strict --- Disciplined, thorough

10. Pushy --- Determined, Aggressive, Persuasive

G. Show your husband Through Your Actions as well as Your Words that you Accept Him As He Is.

H. The Benefits will be Greater than anything you every Imagined.