Death Notification, How To Make Them

"He brought me to the banqueting house, and his banner over me was love." --- (SofS 2:4)
Travis Case, Pastor/Teacher               Northgate Baptist Church               F.E.A.S.T Seminar

Introduction:

A. This is the most difficult responsibility of a chaplain.

B. The chaplain must learn to deliver a death message in a manner that will effectively communicate what has happened and still be an act of positive public relations.

The Person Making The Death Notification:

I. Confirm The Message.

A. Don't allow yourself to get involved in a cruel prank.

B. Don't believe every phone call you receive --- call back.

II. Obtain As Much Information As Possible.

A. What happened?

B. When did it happen?

C. Where did it happen?

D. How did it happen? (Beware of giving too much detail)

E. Disregard Why it happened.

F. Gather information about Survivors.

1. Who is next-of-kin?

2. How many in family?

3. Ages of children? --- elderly?

4. Health?

III. Go In Pairs --- At Least One In Uniform.

A. Even with the Chaplain --- a uniformed officer is necessary --- he lends credibility.

B. Decide who will take the lead.

C. Identify yourself.

IV. VERIFY The Identity - & - Manifest Compassion.

A. Make sure you have the right address --- family --- dead person.

B. You are there to assist a 'victim of circumstances' --- don't act judgmental.

C. As a professional in the act of assisting people, you must:

1. Empathize and provide necessary resources and support to assist them in responding to your information.

2. Assist them in 'handling' their responsibilities resulting from your visit.

D. You are representing the Chaplains Office of the ________________ Police Department.

E. As in other situations where you are working with victims --- you have the advantage of being in control of the situation.

1. Remember, you do not bear the responsibility for the reason for the information you bring.

2. You must be able to maintain sufficient objectivity to resist emotional involvement --- which is a constant threat.

V. Deliver The Message In Private And In Person ---If Possible.

A. Try to get INSIDE the residence and close the door --- gather the family together.

B. Never notify by phone.

C. If death message is to be delivered in another city --- get aid from their police department.

VI. Give The News In Small Doses.

A. Relate message straight out --- use direct terms --- avoid euphemisms --- deal with reality --- don't beat around the bush.

B. Let the information "Soak-In".

C. Remember, you are there to assist the 'victim(s)' of this circumstance to meet and work through the initial trauma.

VII. Beware of Reactions:

A. Shock --- Passing Out.

B. Disbelief --- Denial

C. Hysterical --- Uncontrolled Crying.

D. Anger --- Fighting.

E. Blaming you (kill the messenger of bad news).

F. Don't take any reaction "personal."

VIII. Find Assistance For The Mourners.

A. Offer to call their Pastor --- Priest --- Rabbi --- Family --- or close friends.

B. Don't leave them alone --- don't drop the bomb and then run away --- stay and help as long as your services are desired

C. Assess the need to call for medical help.

(Doctor may need to give tranquilizer or sedative)

IX. Provide Needed Information To The Family.

A. Explain the role of the Medical Examiner and leave printed information sheet with them.

B. Explain about funeral home selection and notification.

C. Assure them that they don't need to make a lot of decisions right now --- beyond their immediate needs.

D. Leave your business card with them.

X. What About Organ Donations? --- Questions:

A. Who can become an organ and tissue donor?

1. Anyone who makes his wishes known to his family can become an organ and tissue donor.

2. Advanced age or a history of disease does not necessarily mean that someone cannot donate.

3. Organs and tissues that cannot be used for transplantation can often be used to help scientists find cures for chronic illnesses and serious diseases.

B. Do some religions object to organ and tissue donation?

1. No. Some religions request that special procedures be followed in the donation process but most major religions do not object to the donation of organs and tissues.

2. Some faiths openly encourage it --- seeing it as an expression of love on the part of the donor.

C. What does the new "required request" legislation mean?

1. In most states, the next of kin will now be asked to consider donating the organs and tissues of the deceased.

2. Even if the donor has signed a donor card, the permission of the next of kin must be received before a donation can take place.

D. How does the procurement system work?

1. The 1986 transplantation act mandated the establishment of a national computerized system for organ sharing.

2. This legislation regulates the distribution of donated organs so that there is equal access for all patients awaiting a transplant in the United States.

E. Does the donor family receive information about the recipient?

1. Often, the donor family is told of the age, sex, and geographic location of the recipient and is given information about the outcome of the transplant.

2. The identities of those involved and the circumstances surrounding the donation are confidential.

3. Sometimes, by mutual consent, the donor family and the recipient meet, but this is very rare.

F. Does the donation eliminate the possibility of a regular funeral service?

1. Not at all. The surgical procedures used in a procurement are performed by highly skilled surgeons and the appearance of the donor's body is basically unchanged.

2. There is no disfigurement of the body.

G. Does the donor family incur any expenses for the donation?

1. No. All costs associated with the donation are paid for by the organ procurement organization.

2. Nor, does the family receive any fee for donating --- as this would be in violation of federal and state law.

H. Will signing a donor card affect the care I receive at the hospital?

1. Absolutely not. Brain death will be declared only after all efforts to save your life have been exhausted.

2. Trauma teams are medical professionals trained to save lives.

3. Law prohibits physicians who are involved in the removal or transplantation of organs from participating in the certification of death of a potential donor.

I. What does "brain death" mean?

1. Brain death occurs when blood no longer can flow to the brain and the tissue dies. This condition is irreversible.

2. Although the brain has died, other organs and tissues can function for a short time if supported by artificial mechanical means.

J. Why and for how long must the ventilator be kept on after death for organ donation?

1. The ventilator is needed to provide oxygen to the vital organs and is dept on until surgery is completed, usually within six to eight hours.

2. Tissues such as eyes, skin and bone may be procured several hours after the heart stops and do not require maintenance on a ventilator.

K. Will there be any pain felt during surgery?

None --- all brain function has topped; it is physically impossible to feel pain.

The Person To Whom The Notification Is Made:

(( The following scenario is given in outline form because it is easier for me to teach and tell in story form that way. It is taken from a work by Chaplain Harold Elliott of the Arlington, Texas Police Department. Harold is one of the most experienced and educated Chaplain I have ever met. If possible, you should get his books and videos. ))

(( You will discover that although individuals may differ in their response and/or reaction to you in this function, --- an identifiable pattern of behavior is manifested in most every situation. ))

(( Put yourself in the place of the person being notified --- The following reflects response patterns encountered ))

1. Being awakened out of a sound sleep in the early morning hours --- by an insistent knocking on the door --- you finally get to the door and open it to find a stranger with a radio, note-pad, and maybe a flashlight in hand.

2. He introduces himself by name and further identification reveals he is from the Chaplains Office of the __________ Police Department.

3. His questions denote his seriousness in making certain that he has the right person --- His questions also reflect the fact that he has some information about a member of your family.

4. You start wondering who is in trouble --- your mind begins to race down the checklist of family members: your husband at work; your son has been staying out too late recently; your daughter is expecting her first child, and she and her husband have been arguing a lot recently.

5. As this stranger, this 'intruder', continues to ask his questions, --- your questions start flashing by, --- your world begins to crumble. --- You are brought back to the present moment by the insistent voice gently, but firmly, calling your name, --- "Mrs. Smith, Mrs. Smith, are you alright?"

6. You look into the speaker's face, trying to read what is being said --- you hear your own voice, as from some distant point saying, "Yes, I'm alright."

7. This probing, insistent, voice then asks: "Is your husband at home?" --- You feel yourself beginning to feel faint --- That voice gently urges that perhaps you should go inside and be seated.

8. As you are being seated, the question comes again, "Mrs. Smith, is your husband at home?" --- You take a deep breath, trying to clear some of the 'cobwebs' from your thoughts. --- Finally you are able to answer, as you realize that your husband is home. He traded nights off with a friend and he is sleeping. You call him several times before he answers and you ask him to come down stairs.

9. (Taking the stairs two at a time), Mr. Smith hurries to the side of his wife. --- Asking the intruder in his home: "Who are you?", Mr. Smith puts his arm protectively around his wife's shoulder.

10. You introduce your husband to this stranger who has entered your world --- and is going to bring you real bad news; --- but he/she radiates a calmness, a genuine friendliness, which helps you feel a little less anxious.

11. The icy fingers of fear clutch your throat as you hear the question: "Do you have a son by the name of Tom? --- He has shoulder length, wavy blond hair?" --- Your hands move to your throat as though to seek release from that stranglehold of fear. ---The questions continue: "Is your son about eighteen years of age; does he drive a Datsun pick-up truck?"

12. Almost at the same instant you say, "Yes", the pent-up fear erupts as you cry out in anguish, "Oh my God, what has happened?" --- It seems an eternity before you hear those dreaded, but not unexpected words, I'm sorry, Mrs. Smith, your son has been involved in an accident." --- The words even though spoken softly and compassionately, shatter your world.

13. Though dazed by this news, you feel compelled to strike out against its reality. --- With your heart pounding and aching; blinded by the tears which gush uncontrollably from your eyes, you jump up from the chair to vent your anguish by beating on the chest of this stranger who has torn asunder your own little world.

14. Your husband, stunned by this news, now moves to your side. --- The intruder, gently, but firmly, has been holding your wrists, and saying, "it's alright, Mrs. Smith, go ahead and give vent to your anger and hurt." --- You feel your husband's arms around you, and he leads you back to your chair.

15. As you are seated, your husband asks: "How bad is it, is he hurt bad?" --- "Yes", comes the reply, "it is very serious." --- Looking at the intruder, and wanting him to deny the next question, you and your husband ask in a single voice, "Is he dead?" --- Stepping closer to where he touch the shoulders of both you and your husband, the intruder answers very softly, "Yes."

16. The dam of restraint can no longer hold back the deluge of tear-filled anguish. --- The intruder silently, and understandingly, waits with patience until the sobbing subsides. --- After awhile you and your husband look at him as one on whom you must depend for guidance, and as a source of strength. You ask: "What happened?"

17. The intruder, now a friend, reviews the incident with sufficient detail for you to understand what happened. He answers, to your satisfaction, the questions of who was involved, where it happened, how it happened, and where your son's body is now.

18. This friend asks if he could contact your pastor/priest/rabbi for you. As you look at your husband, he nods his head and says, "Yes, we would appreciate it if you would call him. His number is _______."

19. While your friend is contacting your pastor, you start asking your husband about arrangements for Tom's funeral. A flood of questions begin to come to your mind and so many thinks to be taken care of; what should you do first? --- Your friend replaces the receiver on the phone and tells you that your pastor will be there is about half an hour.

20. You turn to this friend and ask, "What should we do now?" ---He replies, "At your convenience, contact the Funeral Director of your choice and give him your son's name and tell him that he was fatally injured in an automobile accident, and that he is at __________ Hospital. The Funeral Director will make an appointment to work out the details with you. He will contact the hospital and arrange to get your son's body. The Funeral Director will lead you through each step you will need to take. If you have a specific Funeral Director in mind, I would be happy to phone him for you and then let you talk with him about setting a time to meet with him." --- You discuss the question of selection of a Funeral Director with your husband, and then you say, "We would appreciate it very much if you would contact _______________."

21. This new friend then asks, "Is there some member(s) of your family you would like for me to call for you?" Across the window of your mind flashes the thought that this friend is more like family than some of your own kinfolk. You do have a brother who is very close to you and you ask this friend to phone and see if he and his wife can come over. The phone call is made and your brother indicates that they will be over right away.

22. You all are seated in a more comfortable manner and this friend begins to ask questions about your family, your home, your jobs, and hobbies. --- His genuine interest in you as persons in obvious. He shares information about himself in return. You are just getting acquainted when the doorbell rings.

23. Your husband goes to the door, and admits your pastor. --- After introductions and greetings, your friend gives your pastor necessary information. --- With your pastor there, and your brother on his way, your new friend indicates he will be leaving unless there is something else he can do to assist at this time. He reviews the data. The car was towed to _______________ Towing Service. He gives you a folded card containing instructions, phone numbers you may need, and also his personal calling card. He expresses his sorrow, and assures you that the Chaplains Office will be standing by to give whatever support you may need.

24. As he shakes hands with you and your husband, you find a smile of gratitude working its way through the tears as you thank him for coming and telling you about your son's accident.

25. As he walks through the door, you think, "Less than two hours ago, he came in as a stranger; intruded into and tore up our world. Now, as he leaves, he leaves as a friend, a friend we know that we can count on to assist us even as he has assisted us through the initial trauma of this tragedy."

Principles Involved In
The Process of Death Notification:

1. Death must be recognized as a part of living --- each of us will encounter. --- Thus, it is at the time of death that we have a better understanding of what life is all about.

2. At the time of encounter with death, individuals are more open and honest with themselves and with others than perhaps at any other time in their lives.

3. In making death notifications, the one making the notification is the 'stranger/friend' who assists the 'victim' of this circumstance' in making the encounter with death. He is the one who can offer the support needed at the time that the 'victim' reaches out for help.

4. The Chaplains Office has accepted the commitment of having a person who is professionally proficient to assist the 'victim of this circumstance' in encountering the trauma of unexpected and/or violent death. (The news media honors a four hour period for us to make notification before names are released to the public).

5. It is usually best to report completed notification to the investigating branch officer and also to communications control.

6. Severe injury or death notifications are never easy; but they afford one of the greatest opportunity to help people who become 'victims of circumstance'.

7. The cumulative effect of one's experience in making notifications is that of developing greater sensitivity to human needs and in the development of greater proficiency in helping to meet those needs.

"Death Notification"

 

Name of deceased ____________________ Sex: __ D.O.B. ___/___/___/ Race ___

Address ____________________________________________________

City _____________________________________ State _____ Zip __________

Next of kin: ________________________________ Relationship __________

Address ___________________________________ Phone # __________

City ________________________________________ State ___ Zip ___________

How Died? ______________________________________________________

____________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________

Location of Body: ______________________________________________

____________________________________________________________________________________

Additional Information: _________________________________________

________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________

Coroner's office phone # ___________________________________

Officer in charge: ______________________________ Phone # _____________

Funeral Home ___________________________________ Phone # ____________

Pastor/Priest/Rabbi ___________________________ Phone # ___________

 

Relatives / Friends To Be Notificed:

Name _______________________________ Relationship ______________

Address ____________________________________________________

City ______________________________ State ____ Phone: ____________

Name _______________________________ Relationship ______________

Address ____________________________________________________

City ______________________________ State ____ Phone: ____________

Name _______________________________ Relationship ______________

Address ____________________________________________________

City ______________________________ State ____ Phone: ____________

From The Desk of The Chaplain

The following information is provided to assist you in making necessary arrangements for the deceased. The exact order may vary in certain situations.

I. The deceased has been taken to the Collin County Medical Examiner's Office located at 700 B W. Wilmeth Road, McKinney, Tx. The phone number is: 548-3775 (Nights) or 231-7170 (Metro).

II. Call the funeral home of your choice to inform them of the death and your desire to use their services.

III. The Field Agent (Medical Examiner's Office) on duty will contact you concerning the death and will ask pertinent questions regarding the deceased. Any information you are able to supply will help greatly.

IV. The Medical Examiner's Office is open from 8:00 a.m. until 5:00 p.m. Although the office is closed on Saturday you may reach the Field Agent through the Collin County Sheriff's Office at 548-4700 or 699-1023 (Metro).

V. The Medical Examiner will normally take from 24-36 hours before he releases the body. The time varies depending on the type of examination performed.

VI. The Medical Examiner will call your funeral home to transport the body when he has completed the examination.

VII. Your funeral home will make an appointment with you to come into their office to make funeral arrangements.

VIII. All funeral homes in the area have access to all cemeteries in the area, all have information about cremation and all can assist you with out of town arrangements. It is best to contact a local funeral director and allow them to help co-ordinate your plans.

If we can be of further service to you, please call the Plano Police Department at 424-5678.

Funeral Homes

The following local Funeral Homes are listed for the convenience of those who have not made previous arrangements

Horn Harris Crouch Funeral Home
601 S. Tennessee
McKinney, Tx.
Phone: 542-3351

Restland Funeral Home
Greenville Ave.
Richardson, Tx.
Phone: 238-7111

Ted Dickey Funeral Home
2128 18th st. Plano, Tx.
Phone: 424-4511

Turrentine-Jackson-Morrow Funeral Home
Hwy 75 S.
McKinney, Tx.
Phone: 424-7834 or 542-2601

Funeral Home Consumer Information

By federal and state mandate, all price information concerning funeral goods and services is available by phone. You may also obtain price information in written form upon request. Any of the above funeral homes will be glad to provide you with free information.

What To Do When Death Occurs

I. Call your minister, priest, or rabbi. They are your best source of help and support at this difficult time.

II. The Chaplain at the Plano Police Department is available at 424-5678. Tell the person who answers that you need to speak with the Chaplain concerning a death matter and ask him or her to have the Chaplain call you. Don't forget to leave your phone number and/or address so you can be contacted.

III. The Chaplain can be your source of information on many topics including funeral homes, church contacts of many different faiths and information about police procedures and medical examiners practices.

IV. Your funeral director will answer many of your questions and help guide you in areas such as probate, insurance matters, social security claims, benefits from credit unions, trade unions, fraternal organizations, and the military. They will assist you in matters pertain to cemetery arrangements or the choice of cremation.

V. Make a list of those family members and friends who should be contacted, complete with phone numbers. Check them off when they have been notified.

VI. Check all life and casualty insurance benefits, including social security, credit unions, trade unions, fraternal, and military.

VII. Notify the attorney holding the will and the executor or executrix of the will. However, keep in mind that probate may not be necessary.

VIII. Check all debts and installment payments. Some may carry insurance clauses which will cancel the debt. If there will be a delay in meeting payments, consult with creditors and ask for an extension.

Organ Donations Questions:

The new "required request" legislation means that in most states the next of kin will now be asked to consider donating the organs and tissues of the deceased. The following information is given for you benefit and consideration.

1. Who can become an organ donor? - Ans. - Anyone who makes his wishes known to his family can become an organ and tissue donor.

2. Do some religions object to organ and tissue donation? - Ans. - No. Some religions request that special procedures be followed in the donation process but most major religions do not object to the donation of organs and tissues.

3. How does the procurement system work? - Ans. - The 1986 transplantation act regulates the distribution of donated organs so that there is equal access for all patients awaiting a transplant in the U.S.

4. Does the donor family receive information about the recipient? - Ans. - Often, the donor family is told of the age, sex, and geographic location of the recipient and is given information about the outcome of the transplant. The identities of those involved and the circumstances surrounding the donation are confidential. Sometimes, by mutual consent, the donor family and the recipient meet, but this is very rare.

5. Does the donation eliminate the possibility of a regular funeral service? - Ans. - Not at all. The surgical procedures used in a procurement are performed by highly skilled surgeons and the appearance of the donor's body is basically unchanged. There is no disfigurement of the body.

6. Does the donor family incur an expenses for the donation? - Ans. - No. All cost associated with the donation are paid for by the organ procurement organization. Nor, does the family receive any fee for donating --- as this would be in violation of federal and state law.

7. Will signing a donor card affect the care I receive at the hospital? - Ans. - Absolutely not. Brain death will be declared only after all efforts to save your life have been exhausted. Law prohibits physicians who are involved in the removal or transplantation of organs from participating in the certification of death of a potential donor.

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